Parents Parents play a huge part in shaping our identity. As children we are vulnerable in so many ways because we are completely dependant upon our parents for our survival. We are very permeable in early childhood because we have haven’t yet developed the natural protective boundaries that screen outside influences. And we also identify with our parents. Therefore we take on many of our parent’s energies, emotions and beliefs. The way our parents feel and behave towards us will often set the underlying tone that determines how we feel about ourselves. Loving and nurturing parents instill positive resources such as strength, self-assurance. Abusive parents who hit, scream at, or sexually violate their children can severely wound their children, which can undermine their children’s sense of self. We lack the capacity to fully understand and process many of the events that take place during the earlier part of our lives because our brains are not yet fully developed. Our interpretation of events may be highly distorted. We often blame ourselves for the unhappiness or abusive actions of a parent. The emotions that we fail to digest stay trapped in our body and mind. In some instances the powerful emotions that are evoked from repeated abuse and other traumatic experiences can create imbalances in the biochemistry of the brain or otherwise impair the brains development. We internalize many of the feelings and impressions associated with painful events. The undigested thoughts, feelings and imagery drop down into our subconscious mind were they become woven into the fabric of our self. This conflicted mental-emotional energy acts as a filter through which we perceive our lives and the world in which we live. The conflicts we internalize often function as drivers for many of our self-destructive or other forms of dysfunctional behavior. Much of this conflicted energy deadens our body and mind and shuts down the life force as it lies dormant within us. You can heal the issues with your parents. Start by imagining both of your parents individually and notice how you feel in your body. Do you feel tense, constricted, fearful or any other kind of unpleasant feelings? Or do you experience feelings of comfort, warmth and love as you imagine your parents in your presence. Breathe softly and deeply as you focus your attention in the middle of the feelings. Unpleasant feelings tend to dissipate as you breathe into them. The length of time necessary for this to happen will vary. In some instance the feelings will dissipate in a few minutes and at other times it may take considerably longer. Warm, loving and comforting feelings will often spread through your body as you continue to breathe into them. You will probably experience a whole range of feelings associated with your parents, because there is a certain amount of ambiguity in all our relationships. Sometimes you may experience flat, neutral or numb feelings as you do this practice. Breathe into the numbness. Feelings and memories will gradually emerge. And you want the feelings and memories to emerge because that the only way you’re ever going to heal and experience change in the parts of yourself that were effected by events of the past. You will experience much more powerful results when you continue to work with this practice for extended periods of time. Deeper layers of emotion and memory will continue to surface. And this will make it possible for you to gain access to and process many of the emotions and underlying issues that you have carried around inside of you for most of your life. You will recognize and understand the patterns that you have played out in your life. And you will begin to resolve many of the underlying issues that have held you back. Working with this practice frees up a lot of energy and resources. The generative creative forces will flow through you with greater volume and power. The parts of yourself that have been bound up with all those conflicted energies will begin to emerge. And these parts of you can now grow and mature.
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