Sensory Overload

New York City felt like a massive playground when I first arrived years ago. There was a thriving free improvisational and experimental music scene and I saw a many of my favorite composers perform at Tonic and the Knitting Factory. There were people from every country on the planet and all kinds of cultural events and every kind of food imaginable. I spent much of my free time going out to concerts and exploring whatever else I found that was going on in the city and it was lots of fun.

There are many different facets to life in any locale. New York City is very heavily congested with over eight million residents. Millions of other people commute into the city everyday from the outlying areas. The rent is astronomical and apartments are usually small unless one has the money to afford more spacious accommodations. The city can also be very noisy from all the cars, sirens, construction and everything else that’s going on. One is also continually immersed in a sea of television, radio, microwave and other forms of electronic transmissions.

Many New Yorkers prefer to live in Manhattan because it’s right in the middle of everything that’s happening. I had what was considered to be a good deal for a small studio on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. But the woman that I was subletting from decided to let go of the space and so I had to move. I didn’t realize it at the time, but she was doing me a huge favor. I moved out to Queens where I eventually found a much larger space. Queens isn’t quite as noisy as Manhattan and it also has a lot more trees and room to breathe.

New York City is about as far removed from nature as one can possibly get. Being confined to such a small space with so many other people, the continual sensory bombardment and all the other stresses that go along with trying to survive in the city can have a very adverse affect upon an individual. It’s humanly impossible to process everything that’s happening in an environment like New York City. People living in the city often become so desensitized and some develop a very hard shell.

I’ve had to work so much harder to maintain a practice in New York City. There have been many instances when I’ve done sessions for people and they experience something very powerful at the time. But the continual sensory bombardment and other distractions make it much more difficult for people to stay connected to their own internal state of being. I’ll call to check in at some point to see how they’re doing or to schedule a follow up session. I often feel as if I have to continually start all over again, because I end up spending so much additional time reconnecting people to what’s happening within their own bodies and minds. I then have to connect the dots to help people understand the changes that are taking place as a result of the healing sessions.

It’s so easy to escape from our feelings and issues in a place like New York City because there’s always so much going on and so people can easily numb out to what they don’t want to deal with. But the work I do really brings people into their bodies. It blows the frenetic energies of the city out of a person’s system and then the real feelings and issues are brought to the surface so they can be dealt with. All kinds of uncomfortable anxious feelings that have been held within the body for years may begin to surface. Some people may initially find the process to be a little unsettling, but these feelings need to be digested so that one can reconnect with their true feelings and intuition and become more present in their physical body.

There are a lot of younger people moving about the city who are so open to what’s happening around them. They’re exploring, having fun and the city is a big adventure. One can see lots of, mostly young, couples in their teens and twenties in the city. Many do find love, settle down, build their nest and raise a family. Those who are connected are more likely to live out in the suburbs or outer boroughs.

We can only pay attention to so many things at a time. The many distractions that are overwhelming our senses can make it very difficult for us to stay connected to our feelings and our physical bodies. But it’s through our feelings that we bond or form attachments to other people. We may never really have the opportunity to process our feelings or issues when our bodies and minds are continually over stimulated. We end up shutting down much of our ability to feel and that can prevent us from developing intimate and meaningful connections with other people.

I encounter all kinds of people everywhere I go and I also find that every city or part of the world has its own unique form of collective consciousness. People in the city can be very inaccessible. I’ve had so many instances where it seemed like I was really connecting with a person. We exchange contact information, talk about getting together and doing something …and then I never see or hear from the other person again. People that I thought were friends have also completely dropped out of the picture and it just seems to be the norm here. I’ve found that connections with people in the city often lack the depth and duration that I’ve enjoyed with people in other places that I spend time.

Being single in the city can be absolutely maddening at times and New York City has one of the highest ratios of single people anywhere on the planet. Over fifty percent of the residents in Manhattan are single. Both men and women in New York City can be very guarded compared to people that I know and spend time with in other cities or parts of the world. Many people in the city are just so busy and they don’t find the time to maintain personal connections.

Women everywhere are faced with the additional threat of sexual assault and other forms of violence and have reason to exercise greater caution. New York City is perceived by many to be a dangerous place. The city was very dangerous in years past and crimes do occur here on a regular basis. But statistically New York City lags far behind many other cities across the country in violent crime. The perception of danger still holds and many women who live in the city experience a heightened sense of vulnerability and tend to be more fearful and mistrusting of men that they don’t know.

Many people are not processing their fears, the things that have hurt them and the things they hear from their friends or read about in the news. They can become so caught up in a very fearful and mistrusting mindset that they then generalize their sense of danger. That often creates barriers that prevent people from connecting. Many people are so lonely and they really do want to find someone they can share their life with. Either they don’t know how to connect or it just doesn’t happen. Many are now relying on internet personals to find a mate because they lack social skills, are too out of touch with their own senses to trust their intuition and are too afraid to engage in a conversation with someone that hasn’t been formally introduced to them.

I feel the fear, mistrust and sense of guardedness and the various other issues and stresses that people are holding within their bodies. But many people are operating at the very surface most levels of their consciousness and so they just react to difficult or challenging situations or issues that arise. This is what happens when people do not examine their thoughts and beliefs or digest their feelings. There is no real learning or growth as long as they operate at these levels and people will miss out on all kinds of opportunities as long as they continue to function on autopilot.

It’s so easy to get sucked into the collective mind or consciousness of our surroundings and then we start to lose touch with ourselves. We are all shaped by the people around us and other aspects of the environments that we find ourselves in. It’s so important for each of us to be very conscious of what’s happening and we do that by paying attention to our thoughts and feelings and the way that we react to various people and situations. We then need to digest our thoughts and feelings and our life experiences. Breathing into whatever we feel or experience helps us to facilitate this digestive process.

I’ve been fortunate enough to live and spend time among many different cultures and that has helped to broaden my perspective by showing me that there are so many different ways of thinking, feeling and doing things. Sri Lanka had been locked into a brutal civil war for over twenty-five years between the Sinhalese dominated government and the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam or Tamil Tigers. I was on a bus one day heading into the capital city Colombo when an L.T.T.E. fighter detonated a claymore mine in a three wheel taxi that was parked on the side of the road up ahead. Seven people died in that incident and I walked past the wreckage of the bombing within minutes of its occurrence. The smoke was still coming off what remained of the three wheel taxi. The blast took place on one of the main roads in densely populated section of Colombo. Windows were shattered in the buildings lining the road and there were hundreds of holes in the walls from the ball bearings that flew in all directions.

Murders, disappearances and all kinds of other gross human rights violations were committed by all sides during the civil war in Sri Lanka and many of the abuses still continue to this day. Incidents of violent crime are also fairly prevalent. Despite that, Sri Lankans tend to be very caring, open, friendly and engaging. They don’t generalize a sense of danger to every person that they do not yet know because they tend to more present in their bodies and connected to their feelings and in touch with their intuition.

I was also in a vulnerable position being in a foreign country where many people did not speak English and I did not understand the native languages. I encountered some very dangerous people on occasion and others were just trying to scam me to get money. I had to really pay attention to what was going on around me and rely on my intuition. I’m able to feel the heart and intentions of another individual and that let me know who I needed to stay away from. My intuition also let me know when a person had a good heart and was trustworthy. There were many instances where people who were total strangers took me into their homes, fed me and even gave me a place to stay. I’ve developed close friendships with a number of the people that I’ve encountered and I consider many of these individuals to be some of my most valued friends. All kinds of amazing things can happen when we just allow ourselves to be open to the opportunities that life presents to us.

Having a sense of a common bond is very important and there are many different communities within the New York City. There is a much greater sense of community among the Black, Hispanic and immigrant populations. People within the various immigrant communities are often a real source of strength and support for one another.

I’ve had to make a real concerted effort to remain present and keep my heart open while living in New York City. There have been times when the best I could do was to breathe into the feelings of aloneness or the lack of connection that I’ve experienced. Fortunately, there is a very large immigrant population in the city. I have always found it much easier to connect with the F.O.P.’s. or those who are "fresh off the plane" from India, China, various other parts of Asia, Central and South America, Europe, Africa the Caribbean and other parts of the world.

The novelty of New York City wore off quite some time ago. I knew that I would be going overseas at some point and I saw New York as taking a step in that direction. The only reason that I still reside in New York is so that I can continue with my training with Shifu Li Tai Liang who lives about fifty miles outside of the city. I’ve known a lot of people who have endured tremendous hardships as they worked their way through medical school or some other degree program. I’m just here to do what I need to do and then I will move on at a certain point.

I’ve gone through so many changes as a result of all the intensive practices that I work with. I usually do at least four hours of intensive training in xin yi, bagua and chi gong on a daily basis and that has increased my sensitivity. I can really feel the barriers that people in the city build around themselves. I can also feel caring and compassion from people at times, but it’s a very interesting mix. I feel their warmth, but at a certain point there’s a barrier that says "Don’t come any closer". Being contained in such a small space with millions of others can do that to an individual. But the developers keep building more apartments and packing more people in to the city. I’m very thankful that I have the opportunity to get out of the city for periods of time so that I can decompress. I can feel myself being nourished as I absorb the life force from the heavens and the mountain whenever I go on the vision quests. It can feel very overwhelming for me to get back to the city after I come down from a vision quest. That’s why I usually give myself some time after I come off the mountain before I return to the city.

There are so many things reaching out to grab our attention these days. Many of us see more advertisements in one day than people a hundred years ago saw in a whole life time. The subways are full of all kinds of advertisements. There are advertisements plastered on the inside of the subway cars and now they have newer ads designed to stick to the outside of the trains and busses. Some of the busses and subway cars have turned into massive mobile billboards. The majority of the ads are for television shows, movies or theatre productions on Broadway.

I recently heard a quote that says "…Television is an anesthetic for the pain of the modern world". Many of us are spending so much of our lives in front of the television or surfing the internet for hours on end because we have lost touch with our core selves, we’re not really connecting with others and we don’t have much of a life. That can leave us feeling very empty and so we compensate by filling our senses with some form of simulated reality. We’ve become so uncomfortable with ourselves and our own day to day reality and then we feel that we need to escape. But that causes us to become more complacent and less directly engaged in our own lives.

Beer and other alcoholic beverages make up the next large category of advertisements. There are also lots of advertisements for attorneys boasting of multimillion dollar settlements that have been won for their clients who have been injured. I wonder what that says about the consciousness of people who live in the city.

Having a car in New York City can be a real pain. The insurance is excessively high, finding a place to park can a real headache and the police are always looking any excuse imaginable to write hundred dollar plus tickets to generate more revenue for the city. I rely on public transportation to move about the city. The subways can be packed like sardine cans during rush hours, so I do my best to avoid traveling at those times.

People riding the subways are often listening to music on their iPods, seeing what’s happening with their friends on Facebook or Myspace, Twittering, texting, checking and sending email or making calls on their mobile phones or playing with their Nintendo, Play Station Portable and some are doing a combination of the above. We become so addicted to our toys and distractions because we find it so difficult to just be present to ourselves and to what’s happening in our immediate environment. Imagine what it would be like if people would just show up, pay attention and even enjoy a conversation with the interesting people within their proximity? …it’s a whole lot more entertaining than anything on television.

We’re all unique in that we have very different sets of wants needs and values. People often come to New York City for a reason. The fashion and entertainment industries and the financial sector are all based in New York City and this is the place to really make it big. Some people really enjoy living in the city. They thrive off the buzz and excitement of Manhattan and being in the city provides them access to all kinds of arts and cultural events.

The buzz of the city was at one time very seductive to me. But shopping began to feel very empty and I could only go to so many concerts, lectures, workshops and museum exhibits. These things stimulated my curiosity and feed my intellectual mind, but they didn’t address the deeper needs. I longed for more substantive human connections. I began to feel a stronger need to be connected to the Earth and the forces of nature. I started to train intensively in the internal martial arts and to do other forms of spiritual practices to deepen the connection to my own source.

People who have adequate financial resources can better insulate themselves from the stresses of city life. But many of us living in and around the city often find ourselves coping with a great deal of additional stresses. Some of us are working excessively long hours at jobs that are very demanding and we may also be commuting considerable distances to and from work every day. We may be exhausted by the time we reach home at the end of the day, but many of us are spending our evenings vegetating in front of the television. Our brains slip into alpha level as we spend time watching television. A hypnotic state is induced which puts our minds in their most receptive mode. That makes it easier for corporate sponsors to implant all kinds of imagery and suggestions directly into our minds to convince us that we need to buy more and more stuff.

Many of us are already on sensory overload, but television continually bombards our senses with all kinds of additional input. Our minds cannot digest our own issues, emotions or our life experiences because they are so busy trying to process the simulated dramas that we clutter our minds with as we stare into the tube.

What’s happening to people in New York City is happening to people nearly everywhere on the planet, even if it’s to a lesser degree. People in all parts of the world are under enormous stress these days. Our bodies and minds are not really equipped to handle the amount of stress that we’re subjected to on a daily basis and in so many instances we’re not very aware of the impact that the stress is having upon us.

Our bodies and minds become overwhelmed from long hours of work, the lack of sleep and the continual bombardment of our senses. The issues and emotions and other stresses from our everyday lives that we fail to digest continually accumulate within our bodies. Much of the stress accumulates within our abdomen. That impairs the functions of the digestive organs and in some instances the abdomen begins to feel very dense. The abdomen is the foundation of our consciousness and we disconnect from a huge part of our consciousness whenever the stresses become backlogged within this part of our bodies.

Living in a perpetual state of tension has an adverse affect upon our whole being. Functioning in survival mode for long periods of time can generate tremendous amounts of anxiety and that can contribute to rigid patterns of thinking and a defensive mindset dominated by fear. Chronic stress causes our whole body and mind to tense up. Chronic muscular tension restricts the flow of blood, lymphatic fluid and nerve impulses. Our cells are deprived of the oxygen and nutrients that are needed to function and that can interfere with the cells ability to cleanse themselves of toxic substances. Operating in a perpetual state of fight or flight arousal causes the brain to continually produce higher frequency beta waves. Higher levels of cortisol are also secreted into the bloodstream. Having elevated levels of cortisol dumped into the bloodstream for extended periods of time can lead to impairment of our cognitive functions, suppression our immune system and a wide range of other health problems.

Training with the last surviving traditional doctor among the Kiowa tribe gave me the opportunity to really experience how American Indians were so connected to the Earth and the forces of nature. Things changed dramatically when they were taken out of their own natural element. I could really see how the native people got sucked into processed foods, television, alcohol, Christian missionaries who told them that their spirituality and other aspects of their culture were evil and all the conveniences of modern life. The changes became more apparent with each passing generation. Native people’s roots were being severed and they no longer had the clarity or the connection to the powers of the earth and creation. I could see how many of the native people were slipping into a kind of unconsciousness. I’ve seen this same kind of phenomena take place among people within other ancient cultures as they get sucked into our modern way of life. Our world is really speeding up and the stresses of daily life have been increasing over the past few decades and now it’s finally catching up to the rest of us. The stresses of our daily lives are accumulating in our bodies and then we lose touch with our feelings and disconnect from our spirit. We lose our inner sense of direction, we’re more likely to feel anxious and depressed or overly stressed out and then our physical bodies suffer.

The demands that many of us are faced with in our day to day lives are overwhelming our systems. People all over the world lived for thousands of years without all the expensive cars, homes, toys, modern conveniences and the millions of other products that we are now consuming on a daily basis that we think we have to have. But we continue to run ourselves into the ground so that we can maintain our life style. Many of us don’t even realize that there is anything beyond that because this is all that we have ever known. The life that we know is only a very narrow sliver or the range of human experience. Sometimes we need to stop and ask ourselves questions like "Why am I doing all this? …Is this really what I want? …and if not then what do I truly want for my life?"

It’s very easy for us to lose touch with our feelings, our physical bodies and to our source. We need to make a very concerted effort to maintain balance in our lives. We all need room to breathe …literally. We need space to digest our issues and emotions. That can’t really happen when we’re plugged into our iPods or if the television is always on in the background. It’s so important for us to check in and become really present. We need times to just sit and to breathe into all of our feelings and sensations that we experience in response to everything that happens throughout the day and over the course of our lives.

I’m very cognizant of the effect that the stresses of daily life are having upon me. I have also learned to recognize when I’m pushing my limits. I can feel myself decompressing as I sit and breathe into all the feelings and sensations. That helps me to digest the stresses that go along with living in the big city. Training in the internal martial arts helps me to stay connected to the elemental forces of nature and to balance these forces within my own body and mind. I do lots of daily practice, but I can’t do it all on my own. Physical body work helps to move more of the stagnant energies and emotions that get lodged within my body. Healing sessions have helped mitigate the wear and tear and to repair damage within my physical and subtle bodies. I’m human like everyone else and I can feel myself contracting in response to stress. There are also times when I fall into unhealthy patterns or get caught up in some drama. I can feel huge amounts of stress being digested every time I go and sit on the mountain. I have really come to rely upon the vision quest over time to deepen my connection to that which is most essential.

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