Getting Unstuck

Many of us are not really satisfied with the way things are going in our lives, but we may feel powerless to effect any real change. We often feel stuck in our jobs, relationships or with the issues affecting us or the circumstances taking place in our lives.

We internalized many of the hurts and disappointments that we’ve experienced in life. These events and our subsequent reactions have a way of shaping us, so that set patterns develop and our lives begin to take on certain themes. We tend to attract many of the same kinds of experiences, which then evoke more of the same unpleasant emotions.

Many of us do not really understand how to work constructively with our feelings and emotions. Uncomfortable feelings end up getting pushed down inside of us. Buried emotions create a heavy residue that causes inertia. That emotional residue acts like a kind of cement by keeping our conflicted issues frozen inside of us. It creates barriers that prohibit us from ever accessing the source of our problems. That keeps us locked into the same kinds of patterns which makes it more difficult to change.

Suppressing emotion also shuts down many of the internal processes that allow us to adapt, grow and develop new resources. It causes us to disconnect from our intuition and shuts down the flow of creativity and the drive within us that gives us a forward momentum.

Opening up to share our feelings can help us to come to some kind of resolution. But we often start thinking in circles or we go on and on as we talk to anyone who will listen to us. It seems to provide some relief from the pain, anxiety or sense of frustration that we’re experiencing. But what often happens is that we disconnect from our real feelings so that we never really get to the source of the underlying issues. Continually thinking and talking about our problems also tends to generate more of the same kinds of feelings, which then reinforces the negative pattern by digging the rut even deeper.

Sometimes I find myself getting caught up in all the worry, fear, frustration or anger and the dramas that play out in life. At other times I feel as if I’m stuck in some really difficult situation or that I’m up against the wall. I make the effort to notice what I’m feeling, where those feelings are located in my body and then I begin to breathe softly and deeply as I center my awareness in the middle of those feelings.

The pain I experienced as those feelings began to surface was debilitating at times and that made it difficult to function. But I found that working with this practice opens up a space within the areas of tension in my mind and body, so that a deeper intelligence can come in and facilitate healing. The pain started to abate over time as I learned to breathe into the feelings. The stuckness began to dissolve, parts of me started to free up and I was better able to adapt to life.

There were other parts of me and my life that were still not working. I continued to attract many of the same kinds of experiences and that elicited more painful feelings. That left me feeling helpless to change my circumstances. Some of these patterns were hardwired into me. I needed something more to get in to reconfigure these patterns.

I was living in Kansas City in my late twenties and then I moved to Albuquerque New Mexico. I began to get healing sessions on those rare occasions when a healer came through town. I could feel the limiting patterns breaking up, but getting one session every six to twelve months was not enough to facilitate the amount of change that I really needed.

I started getting massages at least every month or two. The massage helps to break up the muscular armor that develops from all the stress of daily life. It also brings stagnant emotions to the surface so I can process them. It often feels as if I've let all this heavy weight go afterwards and that helps to alleviate much of the wear and tear. I can feel the life force flowing more readily within and I’m more aware of my internal processes. I will often feel a mix of unpleasant emotions surfacing within the next day or two. It often feels uncomfortable, but I feel more alive as I process these feelings and it helps to keep me present, fluid and moving forward in life.

I had no one else to turn to when things fell apart with the native doctor that I apprenticed with. I felt like I was somehow feeling my way thorough the dark. For centuries, native doctors from the Kiowa tribe had gone through the vision quest, which involved fasting four days and nights without food and water. The Kiowa like so many other tribes have lost touch with many of their traditions. It had been many years since anyone had gone to fast in these mountains. But felt so strongly that I needed to go to the mountain.

It’s a good thing that I followed my instincts. My life really turned a corner once I started going through the vision quests. The deep emotional wounds started to heal and my work continues to develop to much higher levels.

We don’t really process much of the stress of daily life. These stresses have a deadening affect as they accumulate. That’s why I do my best to make use of the tools that I have available so that I continue to develop new resources and capabilities and move forward in my life. I've had dozens of deep tissue massages. There are days when I'll spend hours working with the breathing practice to process through some difficult emotions. I did fourteen healing sessions with a Buddhist monk in one month at a point when I was struggling with some very difficult issues. I've also gone through the vision quests twice a year for quite some time now. It takes this kind of intensity to really get in deep enough to reconfigure some of the patterns that have kept us down in life. I do this because I'm committed to doing what ever it takes to get what I want in life.

I'm much freer, can do more of the things I want to do such as travel around the world. My work continues to advance. I’ve grown stronger and have a greater capacity to handle situations. My vision has become clearer, I can see what steps I need to take and I have more presence and inner resources to follow through.

These changes did not happen overnight and it wasn't always a smooth process. I continued to struggle and sometimes I wondered if I was getting anywhere. Fortunately I did recognize that I was changing for the better and I had the sense about me to continue to take steps when ever the opportunity presented itself.

I watch many of people I work with go through an amazing process of development as a result of the healing sessions. Their mental and emotional range expands and their core self emerges and they become more authentic. People's lives free up as they resolve the years of old internalized conflict that had kept them bound up. The body-mind becomes much more alive and they become more present. Their vision emerges and they get a clear sense of what they're here to do in this life. They become much more present and create more of the life they want.

Some people are very malleable and experience tremendous change within one or a few sessions. But so many people have been stuck in limiting patterns for much of their lives and their body-mind has a rigidity to it. Their bodies are also backed up with years of emotional baggage. The chakras and layers of the aura are often damaged or they may have failed to fully develop. They have never matured or developed many of the resources that are necessary to be fully functional.

Our society has become so conditioned to expect instantaneous change and many people expect healing to take place in one or a few sessions. Then they say that the healing is not working for them when that doesn’t happen. Many people are so frozen, numb and disconnected. It takes a number of sessions to thaw them out and reconnect their circuitry so they can develop the sensitivity and self awareness that allows them to feel what is happening during the sessions and recognize the changes that take place in their body-mind and in their lives. Some people's life styles are so unhealthy or destructive that they manage to undo much of the positive change that they receive from the healing.

Others think something is wrong and then run when unpleasant or painful feelings begin to emerge. These feelings need to surface. You will never grow as a person or get anywhere unless you can process these feelings.

Many people just want to get to a place where they feel comfortable. They resist anything that feels uncomfortable and they resist change. That only leads to stagnation. We all need the stimulation that comes from being engaged in new and challenging situations that cause us to learn and grow. This brings us into greater self realization.

For centuries, people in China have trained intensively for hours a day over the course of many years to become masters in the various martial arts. American Indians went out numerous times to fast alone in the mountains for days without food our water. Many of them developed gifts of healing and other powers. These individuals became highly realized beings after years of intensive practice and discipline. Healing is also a process that takes real effort, time and commitment.

Many of us are not fully embodied and parts of us fail to ever mature. We often have these unrealistic expectations that what we want in life will be handed to us and then we become frustrated when our lives are not working that way. We can train ourselves to become more present by fully embracing life.

Some parts of my life can be really difficult. I run into road blocks and I sometimes find it frustrating when people don’t get it or are not receptive. The emotional stress can cause me to jam up inside and then things stop flowing. Working with the breathing practice opens that flow back up. It helps me come to a place of acceptance and to adapt to what is.

I don’t really like to get out and market my work, but I know I want to get the message out to people and I get a lot of fulfillment when I see the changes that take place in people’s lives. I also realize this is the process I need to go through to fulfill my life’s purpose. I spend time reflecting on my vision every day. I often stop to ask myself "What do I really want? …What do I need to be doing right now to get it?" and then I take what ever constructive steps I can to make that happen.