Fear of Dying

The fear of death is a big one for many people. Most of us have some apprehension about it and there are many who are absolutely terrified. That has a lot to do with the fact that so many people are not really prepared to make the transition when that time comes.

The experience of dying can be very frightening for many reasons. People suffering from terminal illnesses may no longer have access to the resources they use to depend on. They cannot do many of the things they were used to doing for most of their lives. Their bodies are breaking down and they may be in a lot of pain. They may also feel they have no control over what’s happening to them.

Many people go through life avoiding the feeling and issues that they do not want to face. And all these things get pushed down inside of them. Many feelings and emotions do not get processed and the issues are never resolved. That prevents people from growing. Parts of the self remain frozen in the past. That can make it very difficult for some people to adapt or flow with life. Change can also evoke all the suppressed feelings and issues and that can make them feel even more vulnerable.

We tend to push so many things down inside of ourselves over the years. And then the mind develops these amazing defensive structures that block these things out of our conscious awareness. Defensive mechanisms often begin to unravel as our bodies age or break down as a result a degenerative illness. We may then find it difficult to contain the memories and emotions that we have avoided for so long. Years of old unprocessed feelings and unresolved issues begin to surface. That can leave us feeling very vulnerable and overwhelmed.

Shutting down feeling can constrict our consciousness in a way that cuts us off from the source of creation. Our consciousness (or lack thereof) becomes encapsulated. That creates a tremendous sense of isolation. We lose our sense of being connected to the oneness of all creation. We feel disconnected, therefore we have no trust in the process and that can make it very difficult for us to let go.

Many people really don’t know anything beyond the limited ego that comprises their personality and the little day to day world they exist in. The limited ego construct will cease to exist at the time of death. The reality of death can be terrifying for these individuals, because it represents total annihilation.

Some people are not very honest and they know they haven’t lived with integrity. They realize that others have been hurt as a result of their actions. Many people deny their own wants and needs to please others. They may go on to achieve success in their occupation, but it was never what they really wanted. People in many developing nations may not marry the person they truly love because of their parents objection to their choice of a life partner. People who are not true to themselves are often bitter and full of regrets as the end draws near.

Some of us have so many demands and expectations placed upon us. And we may experience a tremendous amount of pressure to do or be something for someone one else. Some feel it’s easier to acquiesce. But that kills the divinity within us. Each of us have our own unique purpose and we’re all here to live our own lives. And we have only one opportunity to do that. A big part of our development spiritually and as a person is to think our own thoughts, feel our own feelings, to listen to our heart and our gut instincts, follow our passions and do what we truly feel is right for us.

Here and there I encounter truly exceptional people who possess a certain beauty, grace and dignity right up till the time of their passing. Their lives have not necessarily been easy, but they have truly lived. They have been true to themselves by following their passions and doing what they feel is right in their heart. These individuals have an honesty and sincerity about them and they strive live with integrity. They can also be kind, caring and generous.

Everything about our lives is in a constant state of change. Our world is changing very rapidly. We are changing along with everyone we know, and we all eventually die. But many of us find it so difficult to let go, adapt and flow with what’s happening. Many things don’t work the way we want them to. And we experience losses, setbacks, hurts and disappointments along the way. All these things need to be digested. Breathing into these things will help you to digest your feelings and experiences so that you can continue to grow as an individual and to flow with life. Some things will feel horrible, but healing takes place as you continue to breathe into them. This practice also dissolves the armoring within your body and mind so that you experience the higher power within you and that sense of continuity that allows you to know that you are part of something much larger than yourself.

The masters of various ancient traditions were continually doing practices to develop a stronger connection with their soul and the source of creation. These individuals were very connected and that gave them many additional resources that are not available to the average person. They aged, but usually at a slower pace and they were not sickly and their bodies were not falling apart at the time of their death. Many of them decided when they wanted to make their transition. They often went around to say goodbye to their friends and family members and then they gracefully left the body.

The daughter took me into the room where her mother was laying in bed. I could see that she was about to die. The doctors had put her on a very high dose of morphine to help her cope with the pain, and that left her fairly incoherent. She wasn’t able to communicate, so I just started working with her.

The mother’s body was very weak and her defense mechanisms were down. That made her very responsive to the healing taking place. I could feel that she was processing many years of old emotions and life experiences. I knew she could go any moment, but I asked her telepathically to wait till after I left.

The mother looked much better after the session. She was able to speak with me, her daughter and son-in-law. She went to sleep soon afterwards. I stayed a while longer to talk with the daughter and then went on home.

The daughter called me a few days later to tell me that her mother had passed away later that next evening. She went on to say that her mother had slept soundly through the night and that she felt good when she woke up the next morning. She said that her mother spent much of the day sitting up in bed watching the birds and she could see that her mother was at peace. And that her mother was also able to stand up and then take a bath with some help.

Healing does not always mean that the person will recover physically. There are instances where I’m working with someone and I get a very strong feeling that it’s just their time. It’s important for me to remain open and do whatever I can to facilitate whatever process needs to happen.

I’ve worked with many terminally ill people over the years. I care about people and it’s difficult for me to watch the suffering that people go through. But I want to be there for people when they need assistance. And I also want to do whatever I can to ease their transition.

It can be very difficult at times because the person that I’m working with and the family can be very fearful and upset. The dying person is doing everything they can to hold on and everyone is locked into this huge dramatic struggle. The experience can be very traumatic and cause tremendous hardship for the family. I’m often working to help the whole family move through the transition.

Some people refuse to accept the fact that they are dying and they will deny it right up till the very end. I do whatever I can to support the individual and allow them to be where they’re at.

The healing sessions help to alleviate much of the pain and discomfort experienced by people who are suffering from terminal illnesses. It also helps the person to process the fear, terror and all the other feelings and issues. They gradually come to a place of acceptance and trust in the process taking place as they begin to feel that they are a part of something greater. They begin to sense that it is their time and that makes it easier for them to let go.

There are many instances when I really don’t know how things will turn out. I worked with a number of individuals, mostly elderly people, who were dying. The life force in their body was very weak. Some of them were very sickly. Their organs and systems were failing and their bodies were shutting down. Many of these individuals were on very shaky ground and their grasp on life was very tenuous.

The healing sessions restore the functions of the various organs and systems. Some of these individuals regain their strength. They get to a place where they can function and they go on to live productive and meaningful lives.

A friend from the Isleta Pueblo tribe situated south of Albuquerque, New Mexico later called me to ask if I would come down to her village to work with her mother. My friend didn’t say very much when we spoke over the phone, but I could see that her mother was very fragile. She seemed to be holding on by a thread, and it appeared as if she were about to go

I could feel a tremendous presence in the room as I worked with my friend’s mother. The veil between worlds is much thinner among American Indians and people of other indigenous cultures. It felt as if many of her family members that had already crossed over had come through to support and strengthen my friend’s mother.

My friend’s mother looked much better after the session. She sort of hopped off the table and began to walk back and forth in her living room. She then said "I feel so light …and the swelling has gone down in my feet!" She asked me where I had learned to do this work. I told her that I had trained with one of the native doctors from the Kiowa Indian tribe. She was shocked that a nonnative possessed these kinds of healing powers.

Indigenous people didn’t have access to all the latest medical technologies. They depended on the assistance of various forces or beings for their survival. These beings facilitated healing within the body and mind that would not otherwise have been possible. Interaction with the other realms of existence was a normal part of everyday life for many indigenous peoples. Death is not seen so much as a beginning or an end, but as part of a greater continuum of existence.

Native doctors went through intensive practices such as the vision quest that involved going out alone into the mountains to fast for four days and nights without food or water. These doctors received many of their gifts or healing powers during the vision quest.

I’ve been going on vision quests for in the Wichita Mountains of Oklahoma for many years now. I have absolutely no fear of death after having gone through so many vision quests. Some aspects of the vision quest are very similar to a near death experience. There are times when parts of my life begin to flash before my eyes. And sometimes I feel various beings working to facilitate my healing. And that has made me realize that consciousness does not necessarily require a physical body.

My mentor was from the Kiowa tribe and many of the old Kiowa Indian doctors went to the Wichita Mountains to do their vision quests. I met a woman from the Kiowa Tribe in Albuquerque, New Mexico right after I returned from a vision quest. She later told me of a dream that she had the night before we met. She told me how she saw many members of her family that had passed on. She said that they were standing in a lighted gazebo. My friend told me that she walked around the gazebo a number of times trying to figure out how she could get in until she encountered one of her aunties. The auntie then told her "…it’s not your time yet, we just want you to know that we’re here for you".

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