Expanding Our Sense of Possibility

Lena was referred to me shortly after having undergone abdominal surgery. The surgery left her feeling very weak and disoriented. Lena was also in a lot of physical pain and her body just wasn’t healing very well on its own. Lena bounced back rather quickly after a few healing sessions and then all sorts of emotions and personal issues began to arise. Lena’s former husband, the father of her two children, had left her for another woman years ago and Lena had never really healed from the loss. Many of the painful feelings of hurt and abandonment were still trapped within her body after all these years. Lena wasn’t very conscious of the hurt that she was still holding within. I had her picture her former husband and then breathe into all the feelings and memories that began to emerge. The sessions helped Lena to digest the painful emotions. The old hurts began to heal and Lena could finally move on in her life.

The work that we have done has helped Lena to become more engaged in life. Her body is much stronger and she has become more resilient. Lena has a boy friend now and they seem to be very happy together.

I called Lena when I came back into town to see how she was doing and to schedule a follow up session. Lena is in much better shape physically. She’s really involved in her work and is much happier now that she has a man in her life. Lena didn’t think that she really needed further assistance at that time. Lena was saying to me in so many words "I’m fine now", but I called attention to some of the important issues that needed to be addressed and then she went ahead and scheduled another session. I looked into Lena’s aura when I saw her later that weekend and I could see the unresolved issues that she was holding pertaining to her son. I could also see that Lena was holding a lot of other unprocessed issues and emotions in her abdomen and she’s still not that fully present within her body. It was quite obvious that there was still a lot of work that needed to be done.

I use to be so disconnected from all the pain and stress that was stuffed down on the inside of my own body. But going through all the vision quests and other kinds of intensive practices put me in touch with all the feelings, memories and the parts of myself that were still very wounded. These practices have also made me so much more conscious of how much other people are holding within their own bodies.

I can always feel a huge volume of unresolved issues, emotions and other stresses from the present and earlier periods of my life being brought to the forefront of my awareness and then processed. Feelings and memories that I had no recollection of often emerge during the times that I’m on the mountain. Digesting these memories and emotions has enabled me to understand how certain limiting patterns or issues began to emerge and then play out in my life. In addition, I began to develop new resources and capabilities that enabled me to do all kinds of things that I had never done before. No matter how far I go, I see that there is so much more. I can feel so many previously wounded or unconscious parts of me waking up and beginning to function. The feeling that comes with this awakening is amazing and I’m always excited to see where it’s going to take me.

Many of us learned from the time we were very young to avoid our issues and suppress our feelings. That causes us to lose touch with ourselves and then we go through our lives disconnected from our issues and emotions and our physical bodies, our authentic core self and our soul. Some of us begin to pay attention when our emotions boil over, our lives start blowing up on us or if our bodies begin to break down.

People often come to me during times of crisis. Crisis compels many people to pay more attention and to address matters. People who are in the midst of a crisis are more likely to be motivated to take action. But many stop paying attention after the storm blows over. People’s health improves, the anxiety or depression subsides or a new love comes into their lives. They may think to themselves "Everything’s okay …I’m fine now" and some assume that the work is all done and then disappear.

It’s obvious that many people just want to get to a place where they feel comfortable in life. The problem here is that we cannot sit for very long without becoming stagnant. It’s important for us to continually develop our bodies and minds, otherwise our life force becomes heavy and stagnant and we stop growing. Failing to pay attention for some time can cause us to lose touch and that may prevent us from recognizing what’s really happening within ourselves. We may not feel the stresses accumulating within our bodies, see how our consciousness is contracting or notice how our bodies are breaking down until things get really bad. The emotional or physical pain and the ensuing mess that we make of our lives may finally get our attention. But a lot of damage may have already occurred by that time and some of that damage may be irreversible.

An amazing process of development begins at the time of our conception and continues throughout childhood, adolescence and on into early adulthood. The generative forces that facilitate our early development and make us so resilient during our younger years begin to diminish as we age. What makes it worse is that many of us never really learn to digest our issues and emotions. A very large percentage of the health issues that we suffer are stress related. The accumulated residue of our undigested emotions and other stresses that we internalize compromises our body and mind’s own innate healing intelligence. The life force becomes very stagnant and then the physical and subtle bodies begin to break down at an accelerated rate. People’s abdomens often become backed up with the stresses that they fail to process and then they start experiencing problems with their digestion. Others suffer heart disease and all kinds of other health problems.

Practices such as breathing into our feelings and sensations, pranayama, chi gong, tai chi, yoga, deep tissue massage, healing sessions and vision quests are so important because they help us to digest the stresses and heal damage within the physical and subtle bodies. These practices also facilitate the continued development of our bodies and minds. That makes it possible for us to develop greater resources and capabilities.

A certain amount of suffering may be inherent in life, but I hate to see people continue to suffer needlessly. I do this work from a place of compassion. I really want to see people heal and get to a better place in their lives. People often suffer because of their lack of understanding. Many also suffer because they do not possess the resources that they really need to help themselves.

I look into people’s bodies and minds every day. I can see where people are at in their lives and I feel the emotions and issues that they are holding within their bodies. I feel the resources that people have to work with and I can also see the limitations or the deficits that can make it so difficult for people to do what they really need to do for themselves. Most people are only realizing a very small degree of their potential. I often feel like I’m living in a society of the deaf and blind. Many have lived with their limitations for so long that they do not even fathom the resources, capabilities and possibilities that they are missing. But many people have such a limited sense of possibility and that’s why they continue to settle.

Sometimes it’s very frustrating for me to work with people here in our mainstream society. Many possess so little understanding of their own body-mind and its internal processes and they often hold so many unrealistic expectations about healing. A man suffering from heart disease after abusing his body for years asked me the other day "Why can’t someone body just come along and heal my body like Jesus did in the bible?" Many fail to realize that healing is an ongoing process and that we need to be working with practices and taking other steps to maintain our health every day.

I often wish people could perceive what I see and feel happening within their bodies and minds, that they could sense their own untapped potential and that they had an understanding of the work that is necessary to become fully actualized. That’s very hard for people to do when they have spent so much of their lives numbing out and disconnecting from what’s going on within.

The process of numbing and disconnecting isn’t always intentional. Many of us have been hurt or even traumatized. There was no one to go to for support or to talk with and make sense of what was happening. It wasn’t safe to open up and share or feel our true feelings or even acknowledge what was happening. We may have been forced to shut down our awareness of what was happening as a means of coping. We may also be internalizing all kinds of stress in our present day lives. To run from the things that have hurt us is like ignoring an infection. The infection just continues to spread through our bodies, to spill over into other parts of our lives and to do more damage.

Shutting down and avoiding feelings dulls our minds, decreases our self awareness and creates more confusion. We don’t understand why we feel anxious, depressed or overwhelmed emotionally. We fail to comprehend what is causing our bodies to break down down, why our relationships suck or why we struggle with the same issues indefinitely.

I wasn’t very aware of much when I began to work with chi gong practices. I wasn’t very cognizant of what was happening when I began to receive healing sessions and go on vision quests. It took me some time to work through enough of the emotional backlog and to develop the faculties that enabled me to really perceive the changes that were occurring.

It can take a lot of work to digest the backlog of issues and emotions. But those who stick with the process come to a place where they feel comfortable within their bodies. They begin to understand and to work constructively with their feelings and they learn to awaken the innate healing intelligence that resides within.

I feel unresolved issues, emotions, other stresses and traumas that people are holding within and it saddens me to see how these things are damaging their bodies and minds. I see how it’s holding people back in their lives. I also see how the suffering is perpetuating itself indefinitely when it gets inflicted upon others and then I see it getting passed onto future generations. This is why we need to heal ourselves as individuals before we can ever begin to heal society and the planet.

I look for people who are truly committed to doing whatever it takes to facilitate their own healing process. These are individuals have the willingness and courage to show up for the healing sessions and to do the practices during the time in between sessions. They are honest enough to experience their true feelings and to face themselves and their issues. I’ll work with people on a sliding scale if they are struggling financially. I’ll do anything I can for people when they demonstrate to me through their actions that they are truly sincere and committed to their own process.

I see and feel the soul or true essence as I look within people. But this part of the self is often submerged beneath so many layers of our own unresolved issues and emotions. Many of us have also internalized the emotions, energies and values of other people. All of these things cause us to lose touch or disconnect from our authentic core selves. A process of emergence takes place in those who have the opportunity to experience this work. Every healing session draws more of the soul into the body. The sessions also build the infrastructure that makes it possible for people to be truly present within their bodies. People then become more authentic and the way they move through the world becomes a reflection of who they truly are.

One of my greatest joys is to watch the people that I work with evolve over time as we continue to work together. Every healing session facilitates greater awakening within the body and mind. The body becomes stronger, more alive and resilient. People experience a much greater awareness or consciousness of their emotions, their physical bodies and everything that’s happening within their lives. They begin to really see and understand the patterns that have played out in their lives. Smoking, drinking and other addictions begin to fall away. Toxic people start dropping out of the picture. They can then attract a better quality of person and create healthier and more fulfilling relationships.

The emotional wounds that I carried from my past were very debilitating. I was painfully conscious of the fact that I lacked many of the resources that are necessary to be fully functional and to do all the things that I needed to do in my life. Being limited to such an extent was totally unacceptable to me because I have such a strong desire to live as fully as possible.

American Indians understood that we cannot do it all on our own. They relied upon the assistance of other forces or beings to facilitate healing that would not otherwise be possible. I could feel the wounded parts of myself healing as I’ve gone through the healing sessions and vision quests and that helped me get to a much better place in my life. Fortunately I was also able put two and two together. I knew that I would continue to progress and get to an even better place as long as I make use of the tools and resources that are available to me. This is why I keep doing hours of intensive daily practice and going back to the mountain.

I was totally captivated when some of the American Indian elders related their accounts of the forces that worked through their traditional doctors. I knew that there was so much more to life than what most people were aware of and I wanted to be able to do all the amazing things that the native doctors did. I went on to train with the last surviving native doctor among the Kiowa Indian tribe. Years later I began to train with a Chinese Master and I’m learning to cultivate a whole different kind of power and develop other capacities and resources. I have also spent considerable amounts of time with Buddhist Monks, Sufi Masters, Hindu Priests and Saints and lots of other amazing people.

These people possess all kinds of truly extraordinary capabilities because they continually do practices that enable them to develop their bodies and minds. Learning from these individuals and being in their presence helps me to move forward in my own process of evolution. I really admire people who are so connected to the source because they demonstrate that there is so much more available to us than most of us would ever imagine.

People who attain higher levels of self realization do not stop and say "I’m here …I’ve attained it …I’m done now". American Indian doctors keep going back to the mountain. Masters in China do intensive practices every day. These practices enable them to build internal power and to continually refine and develop to higher and higher levels. Monks and Saints spend hours and hours doing intensive meditation practices. They keep moving, because there is no stopping point for those who are truly on the path.

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