Developing a Powerful Presence

You ever noticed how some individuals have such a powerful presence that causes people to turn and look whenever they walk into a room? We sometimes see people who are so powerful and effective. These individuals are often courageous. They have an aura of confidence about them that gives one a sense that they can handle anything …and it makes us wonder. We may even feel envious and think "…Why can’t I be like that?

Most people cannot see the chakras and layers of the aura (subtle bodies), but there is a vast difference from one individual to the next. People who have a powerful presence are tapped into more of their potential and that gives them a lot of additional resources. These additional resources are exhibited within their subtle bodies, which are usually more highly developed. Their minds tend to be very active and they’re much more present in their bodies and the space they live in.

Many people are not very present in their bodies and that can happen for a number of reasons. They may have grown up in an environment where they did not feel safe or welcome. Or they may have disappeared into their daydreams or fantasies as a means of escaping the discomfort of their daily lives. Children may also be subjected to emotional, physical or sexual trauma. Much of the pain is internalized and that causes people to shut down and disconnect from their bodies.

The physical body suffers when people become dissociated because there’s not as much consciousness or life force available to nourish the body and maintain vitality. The traumatic experiences that we internalize and the subsequent painful emotions create a form of dissonance that causes distortions within the subtle body. These distortions may eventually manifest as some form of physical pathology.

Painful and traumatic events can be a shock to the system. We have difficulty processing these events. The resulting emotional wounds can impede our development. Parts of us may never grow or mature and that can leave us with huge deficits. We then feel threatened by what we see and experience in the world because we lack many of the essential resources that we need to cope and we end up struggling just to get by.

We contract in response to the stress and pain that we are not able to process and that diminishes our presence. People may struggle with these limitations for their entire lives. But we can heal, become highly resourceful and develop considerable personal power when we gain access to the right healing resources and learn to work constructively with our own internal processes.

The various challenges and issues that come up in our lives are part of our life’s lessons. But some of us are threatened by conflict. We have a tendency to avoid situations, conflicts, issues or emotions that feel uncomfortable. And we hope that they will somehow just go away.

But problems don’t just go away. It’s like the law of physics which says that matter cannot be destroyed. These issues or patterns will resurface in one form or another. We may run to escape the things that we don’t want to face, but we can’t see what we’re running into. We often find ourselves trapped in an even bigger mess that we cannot escape from. Avoidance tends to weaken us. Intimidating people, situations, issues and emotions begin to feel more threatening as we avoid them. It simultaneously feels as if we are becoming smaller and weaker in relation to what we are trying to avoid. Our power to effect change diminishes and our range of motion decreases.

Stop for a moment and reflect on a person, situation or issue that you are avoiding. Notice how your body feels as you bring these memories into to your awareness. Feel the energy and emotions and physical sensations pertaining to these issues or experiences. Take time to breathe into these feelings and then just pay attention to the changes taking place in your body and mind as you do so.

Some of the situations, people and emotions that you experience will be unpleasant. You may feel awkward, intimidated and even find yourself overreacting at times. You’re going to make mistakes along the way. But it really helps to come from a place of self-acceptance, to realize that we’re all learning and to just do the best you can to be present and deal with the issues or situation concerning you. You will gradually grow stronger, learn from your mistakes, make the necessary adjustments and discover what works.

Some people say anything to get what they want and others say what they think others want to hear. Many just have a hard time saying no. And there are those who will say mean and hurtful things, many of which are not necessarily true.

Lying and dishonesty distorts our consciousness by creating incongruencies within us. It also creates blind spots within our psyche that prevent us from seeing or understanding what we are doing. We eventually become the lie. Our more powerful subconscious mind learns that the conscious mind, which is the source of our identity, is not to be trusted. At a very deep level we stop taking ourselves seriously. Denial is another form of lying. We’re lying to ourselves and all those with whom we interact by pretending that what is, is not so.

Stop for a moment and remember a time when you were not completely honest in your dealings with another person. Think of a time when you blatantly lied to someone. Or think about the promises or commitments that you’ve made to others that you are not living up to. Imagine yourself stepping back into these experiences and feel what that does to your energy. What kinds of feelings, sensations or emotions are you experiencing in your body in relation to these individuals or events? Notice the difference in your energy as you bring these experiences into to your awareness.

Sometimes it’s difficult to be honest and say what we really think and feel. But we can be powerful, direct and take care of our own needs while still being tactful and showing consideration for the needs and feelings of others. Be true to yourself by doing what you feel is right for you. And do the best you can to live with honesty, integrity, and treat others as they would want to be treated.

Most of us enjoy considerably more freedom than people did in generations past, but there are still various political, corporate, religious and social entities seeking to influence us for their own gain. Cultural and religious institutions have defined reality for centuries. Authoritarian regimes in some parts of our world continue to exert tremendous control over the lives of their citizens.

People in some cultures are still bound by tradition. Parents continue to make many crucial life decisions for their adult children such as telling them who they can and cannot marry. Friends in some of the countries I spend time in have told me how they are compelled to follow their parents’ wishes because their culture requires them to show respect. Yet I see and feel the suffering they go through as I look into their hearts and minds. The spirit of an individual is crushed when they allow others to control them and determine the course of their lives. Many of these individuals never mature and they continue to suffer as a result of the decisions that others make for them.

Those who attempt to exert such control over us show so little trust or faith in our own decision making capabilities or our ability to determine what we need for ourselves. Such control has nothing to do with love. It’s all about fear and the need to impose one’s will upon another and it’s incredibly destructive when we allow others to do that to us or we attempt to do it to others. Parts of the self wither and die. And then the wound gets passed onto future generations. People that I’ve gotten to know and have become very close to in different parts of the world have said something to the effect "…I’m not free". Freedom may not come easily at first, but you’re as free as you chose to be.

Some of us cave in to the pressures of family and friends and then hold back or deny what we truly want and desire for ourselves. We may fear the loss of love and approval as a result of displeasing those who matter to us. But it’s so important that we learn to be true to ourselves and to realize that the important people in our lives will eventually come to accept our choices if they truly love us.

People in less traditional societies may still continue to seek some form of social approval because they have never been taught or have learned to question or think for themselves. They do not understand the importance of listening to their heart and following their instincts. So they comply with the expectations and demands of others and then they feel dead on the inside.

Albert Einstein once said "…Great spirits often face violent opposition from mediocre minds." It can take considerable strength and courage to rise above the herd mentality to formulate our own thoughts, feel our own feelings and make our own decisions. We may face tremendous resistance and there may also be a lot of confusion to sort through. But we can never mature as adults until we learn to stand up and be true to ourselves. That means thinking our own thoughts, feeling our own feelings and making our own decisions.

Li Tai Liang, the Chinese Master that I train with often talks about "building chi". He’s referring to a process of development that takes place as you work with chi gong exercises. Practices such as chi gong and pranayama will help to awaken the latent faculties within our body and mind. They build the subtle bodies which are a highly complex system of infrastructure that permeates and then extends beyond the physical body, which comprises the chakras and the layers of the aura.

You can steadily build your power and experience greater self-awareness by doing practices such as chi gong and pranayama. Your mind will open up, your senses will become much more vivid and you may also gain access many other additional resources and develop new capabilities. You may even develop siddhis which are spiritual gifts or powers if you continue to practice diligently.

Increased power requires greater self-awareness and responsibility. Spiritual power is impartial because it flows through and amplifies all aspects of our being, including the conflicted issues and emotions we have pushed down inside of us. The additional power generated through spiritual practices feed our buried emotions and conflicts in a way that makes it possible for them to surface or even take shape in the physical world. That’s not a problem as long as we learn to digest the issues and emotions as they arise.

Many powerful people have not understood the importance of working with their issues and emotions. That’s why some of them end up becoming so destructive with their power or end up creating such huge messy dramas involving themselves and their followers.

People and situations often do not work for our benefit. And we may suffer as a result of the actions of others. It’s so easy for us to fall into a habit of blaming someone or something else when things are not going our way. Blame disempowers us because it locks us into a state of victimization. It keeps our focus on the problem which causes us to magnify what’s not working in our life, which tends to attract more of the same. Such negative emotional states can also jam up our brain’s circuitry and that may prevent us from ever finding a solution.

Many of us do get stuck in our wounds and that prevents us from really moving on in our lives. Parts of us freeze up in all the fear and pain. Belief change can be an essential part of healing. But an attitudinal shift alone is not sufficient to facilitate healing. We can chose to see things a different way by adopting a new belief, yet all those undigested conflicts and emotion remain buried within us. There’s a danger in jumping over some essential steps that are necessary for true healing to occur. In some instances we become even more disconnected from the parts of ourselves that are wounded. Undigested emotion is the cement that holds all these past events and the subsequent beliefs that we form in response to what’s happened trapped in our body and mind. And that’s what keeps us stuck.

Feeling and emotion are symbolized by the element of water. And our feelings and emotions need to flow and be digested if we are to evolve. Acknowledge what’s happened and how it is affecting you. Feel what you truly feel in response to what’s happening. There may be times when you feel angry, sad, hurt, fearful or resentful. The feelings can sometimes be very unpleasant, but allow your feelings to be what they are and breathe into them. You will often experience a whole range of feelings pertaining to the issues concerning you. This process may also evoke memories and feelings pertaining to past events that have a connection to your present day experience. Follow your feelings as they go through their progression. That may happen within a few minutes or over an extended period of time. You will gradually come to a place of greater acceptance as you learn to go through the middle of all the feelings, emotions and issues that surface. That will make it easier for you to adapt to what is, let go and move on if that’s necessary. It will also open you up to the flow of life so you can be responsive to new opportunities as they present themselves to you.

Some people with dissociative disorders feel very uncomfortable in the physical world. It’s as if they have an allergic reaction to life. They don’t really want to participate in life or be of this world because the vibrations feel too crude. They often experience a certain discomfort pertaining to financial matters. Some would rather spend all their time meditating or engaging in some other kind of spiritual pursuit. But that can exacerbate their dissociative tendencies leaving them even more ungrounded.

All forms of mater, including our physical body, are a part of spirit. We grow and mature spiritually through our interactions with people, situations and the world in which we live. This helps us to ground our spirit into our body and this world.

Feelings and emotions can become all convoluted and leave us in a state of pain or confusion at times, but they are also an octave or bandwidth of spirit. Undigested feelings and emotions form a heavy congestive residue that backs up inside of us. That disconnects us from our source and diminishes our presence. We can help to facilitate the healing process within ourselves as we breathe into our conflicted feelings and emotions. The healthy expression of our emotions and feelings allows the life force to flow through us. It also has a magnetic component that helps to draw our soul into our body.

Television, the internet and electronic games can all be very addictive. Such passive forms of entertainment reinforce our tendency to disconnect from the world and actual firsthand life experience. Television stimulates the parts of our brains that are meant to engage and that need personal involvement. Television creates an artificial world where we develop attachments to surrogate friends and family. The problem here is that we can’t have a real relationship with characters that only appear on the screen of our television. We often find ourselves caught up in simulated dramas that evoke powerful feeling reactions. But then it’s silly to react to a television set, so we continue to just sit there and stare into the screen as if in a stupor. Television lulls us into a hypnotically induced alpha state as it feeds us these simulated realities that do not require our participation. And we need to really participate in life to become fully embodied. Continually feeding on a steady diet of simulated realities has a tendency to short circuit our natural stimulus response mechanisms, which then causes us to become more complacent over time.

It’s critically important for us to find things that we enjoy doing with our body. Sports, dance, exercise and other enjoyable physical activities pull us into our body. Pleasurable activities help us to open up to our senses. They create positive associations that anchor us into physical reality. And that encourages us to live in our bodies here on planet Earth. This facilitates greater development throughout our body and mind which is reflected within the chakras and layers of the aura.

It can be so painful when we are rejected or go though the breakup of a relationship. Our tendency is to withdraw because we need time and space to grieve the loss. But so many of us find ways to distract ourselves, so we can avoid the pain and forget about what happened. All those painful memories and emotions remain trapped inside of us indefinitely. They create layers of pain, confusion and numbness. Parts of us shut down and we become even more disconnected from our core. And then we’re not able to be as present to ourselves, the people that we care about or as engaged in life.

Attempts to distract our self, to forget about or block out the pain prevent us from ever healing or growing as an individual. The pain may fade from our conscious awareness, but it continues to live on the inside. That pain will poison our present relationship or we jump ship and drag the pain and unresolved issues into the next relationship.

Thoughts feelings and life experiences need to be digested and assimilated, but we often have difficulty processing feelings such as grief and loss. Sometimes we need body work or healing sessions to help us to work these experiences and emotions through our system. The pain we go through is part of the process of growth and maturation that helps us to really connect with our core, to get to know ourselves, to really understand our needs and to eventually create a healthier relationship.

There have been times in the past when I wanted to find a companion. Sometimes I would approach women that I found attractive and see if I could make conversation. Some were not receptive and I ended up having to breathe through all the uncomfortable feelings associated with that experience. Others were receptive, but I felt still felt uncomfortable at times. I did the best I could to be present by breathing into all those nervous or awkward feelings. That helped me to relax and to become more comfortable in my interactions.

I’ve had so much resistance to marketing my work. And it’s taken me years to learn how to put what I do into words. There were times in the past when I felt so intimidated approaching people to set up speaking engagements or do radio interviews. At other times I would freeze up while speaking in front of groups of people. I’ve learned to breathe into the feelings of resistance, fear and intimidation. That helps me to relax, feel at ease, flow with the situations and even find enjoyment in my work with groups.

Pay attention to what you feel in response to the events and interactions taking place in your life. Really feel your feelings in the midst of whatever you’re doing or experiencing. Allow yourself to notice where you experience these feelings, emotions and sensations in your body. Feel yourself opening up and becoming more present to what’s happening in your life as you breathe into all the feelings that emerge.

Internal representations are made up of the sounds, feelings and images that our minds create to symbolize other people, things or situations. Most people are not aware of the power of their internal representations, but they influence the way we think, feel and react. We can, however, change the way we feel and respond to people and situations by changing our minds representations of them.

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine a situation that triggers feelings of fear or overwhelm or a person that you find to be intimidating. Notice how that person appears in your imagination? Do you perceive of the person as being large and menacing, or does the situation appear to have an ominous quality about it? Now pay attention to the way you appear in relation to the situation or person? Do you look and feel strong and confident or small and weak?

Many of us have a sense of what we want to be doing with our lives, but we often lack the focus or discipline to make it happen. We need to continually ask ourselves questions such as… "What do I really want? What do I need to be doing? What is it going to take for me to get it?" And then we need to take whatever action that we deem necessary to make it happen. Going after what you want will make you stronger. Your range of motion will expand and your purpose will become clearer as you continue to take steps and move along the path. Resistance will surface in one form or another along the way. That’s just part of life. Facing adversity makes us stronger. And our own internal resistance has a tendency to dissipate as we breathe softly and deeply into the feelings. This practiced awakens the creativity and determination within us to find a way.

Some of us who were abused or traumatized feel a deep sense of unworthiness or that we are somehow defective. Shameful feelings have a debilitating influence that undermines our sense of being, which makes it difficult for us to feel comfortable or to actualize ourselves in the world. These conflicts and feelings often become deeply wired into us. Many people continue to carry these wounds throughout their lives.

Layer upon layer of these shameful feelings have surfaced during the many vision quests that I’ve gone through. Feelings and memories of past hurts and traumas continue to surface. I’m able to see how these patterns have my shaped the way I think, feel and move through the world. I experience a growing sense of freedom as these patterns continue to dissolve. This process has brought me to a place where I feel much more comfortable with myself. I feel greater self-assurance and that I have my place in the world. It’s building in the foundation and strength that’s enabling me to fulfill my life’s purpose. I’m seeing many of these same kinds of changes taking place as a result of the healing sessions in many of the individuals that I’m working with.

Developing a powerful presence is a process that takes ongoing commitment and discipline. The 14^th century Persian poet Hafiz said "…We have come into this exquisite world to experience ever and ever more deeply our divine courage, freedom and light." Your presence and power will grow as you learn to embrace life. Be open to explore and discover what it is that makes you want to become more fully engaged in life. Show up, pay attention …and make the most of the opportunities that present themselves to you.